You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
