I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
