you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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