As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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