I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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