yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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