We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
