We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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