I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
