I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
