You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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