he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I came so hard my ears popped.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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