Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
