We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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