I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
