I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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