woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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