Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
