She announced her abortion via fbk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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