did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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