I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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