I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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