No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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