what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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