Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
