been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize