So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
