my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
