I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
