get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
