another moral hangover. fuck.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
