You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
