i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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