You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
