Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
