the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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