The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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