why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Randomize
