Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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