yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Blood and glitter go together right?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
