puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I love having hate sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
