I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize