Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
