Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she told me i tasted like america
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
