good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
