You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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