i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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