Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
