how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
