Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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