She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
