I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
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