We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
