My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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