My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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