I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
