just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
