she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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