We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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