the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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