I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize