this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
